英语幽默_英语幽默故事

1.有幽默感用英语两种方法

2.英文幽默句子

3.形容“幽默”的英语单词有哪些？

4.英语幽默短笑话10篇

5.地道英语幽默笑话带翻译？

童真童趣英语幽默笑话大全

　1. Tommy: "How is your little brother, Johnny?"

　汤米：“约翰，你的弟弟好吗？”

　Johnny: "He is ill in bed. He hurt himself."

　约翰尼：“他生病卧床了，他伤着了自己。”

　Tommy: "That's too bad. How did that hen?"

　汤米：“太糟了。是怎么回事？”

　Johnny: "We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won."

　约翰尼：’我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，结果他赢了。”

　2. Son: "Dad, is French hard to learn?"

　儿子：“爸爸，法语难学吗？”

　Father: "My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that, it becomes easy."

　父亲：“我的孩子，开头难，但往后就变得容易了。”

　Son: "That's great! I'll learn the latter half."

　儿子：“太棒了！那我就学后半部分。”

　3. A little boy lost his way and went to ask the policeman by the road.

　一个小孩迷了路，就去问路边的警察。

　The policeman asked, "Sonny, where's your home?"

　警察问：“小家伙，你的家在哪里？”

　The boy replied, "My mother teaches me to ask the policeman when I lose my way, but she doesn't tell me where I live."

　男孩回答说：“妈妈教我迷路时，就去问警察，但她没有告诉我住在哪里。”

　4. The mother asked her little son, "Tom, if the car is made of cholocate, which part will you eat first?

　一母亲问小儿子：“汤姆，如果汽车是用巧克力做的，你先吃哪部分？”

　Tom replied quickly, "Wheels! Then the car won't be off."

　汤姆飞快地答道：“轮子！这样汽车就开不走了。”

　5. A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach.

　一个男孩放学回家时，感到肚子疼。

　"Well, sit down and he some snacks," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."

　“来，坐下，吃些点心，”他的.妈妈说。“你肚子疼，是因为肚子空了。你吃了东西，就没事了。”

　Shortly afterwards, dad came in from work, complaining of a headche. "That's because it's empty," said his son. "You'll be all right if you he something in it."

　过了一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回来，抱怨说自己头疼。“你头疼，是因为脑袋空了，”他的儿子说，“脑袋里装点东西，就没事了。”

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有幽默感用英语两种方法

　笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术 方法 ，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是我整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!

　 英语笑话 一：Is he dying?

　A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll he to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

　Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people he to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only ge me ten.

　一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

　他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。

　英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmer

　There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

　一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的**笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下车来把......。

　英语笑话三：太晚了 It's Too Late

　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：?五粒。?

　一分钟后，这个学生问教授：?我可以改正我的回答吗?教授看看手表，说：?太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。?

　英语笑话四：The Fish Net

　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　?你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。

　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　?把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。?小女孩回答道。

　英语笑话五：脑移植 A Brain Transplant

　The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

　"You he your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can he the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can he the brain of a politician."

　The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

　The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it?s not better, just unused."

　一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

　?你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。?医生告诉病人，?一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

　病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，?政治家的大脑好一些吗?他问。

　医生说：?不是好一些，只是没有用过。?

　英语笑话六：最丑的孩子

　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：?额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。?

　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：?司机刚刚羞辱了我。?男士回应说：?你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。?

　英语笑话七：我娶了你的姐妹

　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

　一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个 万圣节 夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。

　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。

　"Who are you?" he asked.

　?你是谁?丈夫问到。

　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　?我是魔鬼!?她回答到。

　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　?噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，?丈夫说，?我娶了你的姐妹!?

英文幽默句子

幽默表达方式：he a sense of humor，finding humor。

短句：

要有幽默感 Clown Around ; A good sense of humor。

十分有幽默感 Very sense of humor ; He great sense of humor ; Very good sense of humor。

有幽默感的 humorous。

humor，英语单词，主要用作为名词，动词，用作名词译为“幽默，诙谐；心情”，用作动词译为“迎合，迁就；顺应”。

短语搭配：

black humor?黑色幽默 ; 玄色诙谐 ; 黑色诙谐 ; 玄色幽默

gallows humor 充满怨恨的幽默 ; 黑色幽默 ; 绞刑架上的幽默

verbal humor 言语幽默 ; 幽默话

形容“幽默”的英语单词有哪些？

幽默，形容有趣或可笑而意味深长。它是外来词，由英文Humor音译而来的，我整理了关于英文幽默句子合集，希望大家看完后会笑。

　1、humor, can saying is give people a sule sense of dispensing the spice of life. For some light humor, can make the atmosphere of the time to change, make the stalled suddenly solve unsolved. - Masayoshi Ohira

　幽默：可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。由于某种轻巧的幽默，就可以使当时的气氛为之改观，使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。——日·大平正芳

　2、the sense of humour is a sense. Li, Ji Bolun

　幽默感就是分寸感。——黎·纪泊伦

　3、the humor and wit is the flash of wisdom. -- Indira Shakespeare

　幽默和风趣是智慧的闪现。——英·莎士比亚

　4、the humor comes from wisdom, verbal abuse from incompetence. - pine forest

　幽默来自智慧，恶语来自无能。——松林

　5、humor is that workers he confidence in their own career and show the advantage of the signs of their own. -- Engels

　幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。——恩格斯

　6、humor is not willing to institutional absurdity. - Usher

　幽默是不肯正经其事的荒谬感。——厄谢尔

　7、humor is so gorgeous costumes, is how loyal guard! It is always better than the poet and writer's wisdom; it is itself a talent, it can eliminate ignorance. -- Scott

　幽默是多么艳丽的服饰，又是何等忠诚的卫士!它永远胜过诗人和作家的智慧;它本身就是才华，它能杜绝愚昧。——司各特

　8、 humor is the wisdom, moral education and the excellent performance of. -- de Engels

　幽默是具有智慧、教育和道德上优越的表现。——德·恩格斯

　9、humor is the nature of man, it might change one of the atmosphere, but can not change the life of pain. -- Guo Chen

　幽默是人的本性，它或许可以改变一时的气氛，却改变不了一生的痛苦。——郭辰

　10、humor is the life wes buoy. -- spreading

　幽默是生活波涛中的救生圈。——拉布

　11、humor is all the light of wisdom, shining in the middle of the ancient and modern philosophers spirituality. Where the quality of humor, are smart perspicacious. They will solve all the difficult problems with the humorous wrist, and every kind of things arranged to take it leisurely and unoppressively, be just perfect. -- Qian Renkang

　幽默是一切智慧的光芒，照耀在古今哲人的灵性中间。凡有幽默的素养者，都是聪敏颖悟的。他们会用幽默手腕解决一切困难问题，而把每一种事态安排得从容不迫，恰到好处。——钱仁康

　12、humor is a beautiful, healthy quality. May you make up your own humor. Lenin -- the former Soviet Union

　幽默是一种优美的、健康的品质。愿你让自己幽默起来。——前苏联·列宁

　13、humor and serious mutual inspection stone, because is not willing to accept the good jokes, which he dous, but could not resist to joke must also be wisdom. -- Gaulke Asia

　幽默与严肃互为验石，因为不愿接受善意的玩笑，其中必有疑处，而经不住审度的玩笑也一定是智慧。——高尔克亚

　14、there are many real word of in joke. -- Swift

　有许多真实的话都是在笑话中讲出来的。——斯威夫特

　15、The joke to deal with the enemy, is a natural good tactics, but the contact point, must be the opponent's fatal injury, otherwise, the end is nothing but a joke just kidding. -- Lu Xun

　用玩笑来应付敌人，自然也是一种好战法，但触着之处，须是对手的致命伤，否则，玩笑终不过是一种单单的玩笑而已。——鲁迅

　16、a truly humorous people don't he understanding, readily only laugh, smile for cold, dreary life breath. -- Qian Zhongshu

　一个真有幽默的人别有会心，欣然独笑，冷然微笑，替沉闷的人生透一口气。——钱钟书

　17、a successful person is a sense of humor to deal with setbacks. -- James Pam

　一个成功的人是以幽默感对付挫折的。——詹姆斯·潘

　18、I believe that a sense of humor is part of the charm. Has a sense of humor, people can in a very harmonious atmosphere exchanges of ideas and opinions with each other. The lack of a sense of humor, life becomes monotonous and boring. -- I Sophia Naran

　我相信幽默感也是魅力的一个组成部分。有了幽默感，人们可以在一种非常融洽的气氛中彼此交流思想和看法。缺乏幽默感，生活就变得非常单调和枯燥。——意·索菲亚·名兰

　19、I dou whether the world has experienced the importance of humor humor, or to change our entire culture life possibility of humor in politics, in science, in life position. Its function with the said material, still be inferior to saying is chemistry. The fundamental organization it changed our thinking and experience. We must default to its importance in national life. -- Lin Yutang

　我很怀疑世人是否曾体验过幽默的重要性，或幽默对于改变我们整个文化生活的.可能性——幽默在政治上，在学术上，在生活上的地位。它的机能与其说是物质上的，还不如说是化学上的。它改变了我们的思想和经验的根本组织。我们须默认它在民族生活上的重要。——林语堂

　20、make you laugh, funny. You want to a want to laugh, humor. -- George Bunus

　使你发笑的人，滑稽。使你想了一想笑的人，幽默。

　21、people can not the same, some people will humor, some people will not, not humor person had better not reluctantly. -- Lao She

　人的才能不一样，有的人会幽默，有的人不会，不会幽默的人最好不必勉强。——老舍

　22、not everyone can he a humorous attitude. It is a praiseworthy for one's excellent conduct talent, many people do not even he the ability to enjoy the people to present their hiness. -- O Floyd

　并不是每个人都能具有幽默态度。它是一种难能可贵的天赋，许多人甚至没有能力享受人们向他们呈现的快乐。——奥·弗洛伊德

　23、you can't keep a straight face in dealing with people. Sense of humor is the most important, it will make your job easier, to bring the popular sun will also give you the staff of life. -- Indira Parkinson Rustmogi

　你不能老是板着面孔与人相处。幽默感到是最重要的，它会使你的工作变得更为容易，同时也会给你的职工的生活带来深受欢迎的阳光。——英·帕金森·鲁斯特莫吉

　24、good humor is not just to make you laugh, but also let you cry! The cry more tears will decline in value, so the tears do hy and laughing and being still can see the soul of the solemn and sincere. Maybe humour pain does not suffering the pain of weak. -- Wang Meng

　好的幽默并不只是让你笑，还让你哭呢!哭多了眼泪就会跌价，于是乎泪尽则喜，嬉笑之中仍然可以看到作者那庄严赤诚的灵魂。也许幽默的痛苦并不比痛苦的痛苦弱。——王蒙

25、to the definition of humor and humor analysis, is the lack of sense of humor pastime. -- Benchley

　给幽默下定义和对幽默作分析，是欠缺幽默感的人的消遣。——本奇利

　26、for the abstract thinking to take away from the attitude, which is very deeply rooted, and sensitive nose, a smell of humour and satire will wrinkle. Know now that with this nose people read the morning paper, and set up a for satire, so they will say: I want to get this prize, than I do it more smoothly, because I can immediately to speak their mind, but don't play any tricks. -- Hagel

　对于抽象思维取敬而远之的态度，这是非常根深蒂固的，以至灵敏的鼻子，一嗅到幽默和讽刺准会皱起来。既然长着这种鼻子的人都读晨报，而且知道，为讽刺文学设立了奖金，所以他们会说：我想得到这种奖金，要比我做这桩事情来得顺当，因为我立刻可以说出自己的想法，而且不用耍什么诡计。——黑格尔

　27、understand the humor of humor people in general will be very hy. - quiet

　懂幽默会幽默的人一般都会很快乐。——宁静

　28、you let me roll, I roll. You let me come back, sorry, roll away the.

　你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。

　29、if not to their limits, there is no restriction on the life of the fence you play.

　若不给自己设限，则人生中就没有限制你发挥的藩篱。

　30、A truly humorous people don't he understanding, readily only laugh, smile for cold, dreary life breath. -- Qian Zhongshu

　一个真有幽默的人别有会心，欣然独笑，冷然微笑，替沉闷的人生透一口气。——钱钟书

　31、The last bus 4, hiness is not missed, but do not get crowded.

　幸福的末班车不是没赶上，而是挤不上去。

　32、the most effective capital is our credibility, it is 24 hours non-stop work for us.

　最有效的资本是我们的信誉，它24小时不停为我们工作。

　33、the rogue is not terrible, the afraid rascal he culture......

　流氓不可怕，就怕流氓有文化……

　34、even climb the highest mountain, one can only stand on solid ground to a step.

　即使爬到最高的山上，一次也只能脚踏实地地迈一步。

　35、rather than for, rather than retreat webs.

　与其临渊羡鱼，不如退而结网。

　36、a lot of money, but can not find the seed money, can cause.

　赚钱之道很多，但是找不到赚钱的，便成不了事业家。

　37、today the mood is not good. I only he four words to say. Including this and previous two. I finished saying.

　今天心情不好。我只有四句话想说。包括这句和前面的两句。我的话说完了。

　38、but two people meet, the next is not the story is accident.

　但两个人相遇，接下来的不是故事就是事故。

　39、you are not financial, financial ignore you.

　你不理财，财不理你。

　40、to go its own way, let others take the taxi to go.

　走自己的路，让别人打车去吧。

41、money is not a problem, the problem is no money! People can not hang in a tree, to near a few tree die again and try.

　钱不是问题，问题是没钱!人不能在一棵树上吊死，要在附近几棵树上多死几次试试。

　42、there is no innate confidence, and only continue to nurture confidence.

　没有天生的信心，只有不断培养的信心。

　43、action is good medicine to cure fear, and hesitation, delay will continue to nourish the fear.

　行动是治愈恐惧的良药，而犹豫、拖延将不断滋养恐惧。

　44、not change quickly, but you too much food.

　不是变化快，而是你太菜。

　45、is like pregnancy, a long time can let a person see.

　怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。 (99句教你学会幽默英语名言警句)

　46、there must be a useful material to be useful, I ascended to heen!

　天生我材必有用、材必有用我升天!

　47、positive thinking leads to positive life, negative thinking negative life.

　积极思考造成积极人生，消极思考造成消极人生。

　48、do not and I than lazy, I'm too lazy and than you.

　不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。

　49、there are many real word of in joke. -- Swift

　有许多真实的话都是在笑话中讲出来的。——斯威夫特

　50、a successful person is a sense of humor to deal with setbacks. -- James Pam

　一个成功的人是以幽默感对付挫折的。——詹姆斯·潘

英语幽默短笑话10篇

形容幽默的英文单词：humorous　?

读音：英 ['hju?m?r?s]? 美 ['hju?m?r?s]

释义：adj. 幽默的；诙谐的

用法示例如下：

1、He?was?quite?humorous,?and?I?liked?that?about?him.?

他很幽默，我喜欢他这一点。

2、Indeed he has a solemn face, but he is very humorous at heart.

他的确有一副严肃的脸孔，但内心却是很富幽默感。

3、From?the?story,?we?can?see?that?the?wisdom?and?humorous?side?of?a?good?leader.?

从这个故事里，我们看到一个好的领袖智慧和幽默的一面。

扩展资料：

近义词?

amusing、comical、funny、ridiculous

这几个词都可表示“引人发笑的”。

amusing表示“逗笑的，令人开心的”；

funny表示“可笑的，滑稽的”，语意比amusing强，在口语中，还有“不可理解”的意思；

comical表示“喜剧性的，令人捧腹的”，只用于人的表情、行为或某一局面等，很少用来指具体事物；

ridiculous表示“荒谬的，愚蠢的”，有时可引申为“令人发笑的”，具有鄙视的意味。

地道英语幽默笑话带翻译？

　在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢!

英语幽默短笑话1.

　Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.

　Mum:There is no electricity tonight.

　Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.

　迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

　妈妈：今晚停电了。

　迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.

　The Fish Net

　"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

　"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.

　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?"

　"I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　?昨天给你的钱干什么了?

　?我给了一个可怜的老太婆，?他回答说。 ?你真是个好孩子，?妈妈骄傲地说。?再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?

　?她是个卖糖果的。?

英语幽默短笑话4.

　I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

　我刚咬破自己的舌头

　?我们有毒吗?一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

　?是的，亲爱的，?她回答说，?你问这个干什么?

　?因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。?

英语幽默短笑话5.

　It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always he beautiful women failing at your feet?"

　上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：?总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?

英语幽默短笑话6.

　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

　-- 墓地守墓人。

英语幽默短笑话7.

　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter ge her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有。

　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：?相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。?

英语幽默短笑话8.

　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I he lost my precious little dog!

　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登 广告 啊!

　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。?

英语幽默短笑话9.

　?Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must he been in a fight.

　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。

　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语幽默短笑话10.

　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

　这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，

　千万别进退休社区。因为那里都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，?让小的干吧。?

?

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　笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来，欢迎大家阅读!

　 地道英语幽默笑话1：

　The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to he his teeth fixed,

　一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。

　"Well, sir," said the dentist,

　“先生，”牙医说道，

　"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all he to e out.”

　“恐怕你拖得太久了，这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。

　"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

　“那得花多少钱?，’小气鬼问医生。

　"A thousand dollars. "

　“一千块美金。”

　Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

　“这里是一百块，”吝啬鬼说。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好

　 地道英语幽默笑话2：

　A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

　一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

　But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him he the reservation, but if his friends do e，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs ear in the evening, he a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

　但是第二天，那个 *** 人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些 *** 人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

地道英语幽默笑话3：

　And You Think You've Got Problems

　你认为你有问题吗?

　"Boy, he I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

　“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对医生说道。

　"Go ahead and tell me about them "

　“继续说，告诉我你的问题。”

　"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

　“喔，是这样的，我在乡下有房地产，另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇。”

　"So, what's the problem?"

　"那问题在哪里呢?"

　"I only make $ 100 a week!"

　“我一星期只赚一百块美金!”

　以上就是我为大家带来的，希望大家喜欢! ?